Friday, May 29, 2009

i almost saved a life

so here's the thing... i hate needles. i mean, nobody loves them. no body gets excited about the idea of having a sharp object jammed into their skin to suck blood out of them (except Bella of course - wh0, by the way, is fiction) but i actually make myself sick over the idea. like i get short of breath and my insides start tensing up and i get sick to my stomach - like "D" word sick - and it plagues my mind all day long and i get sweaty and a bit dizzy just thinking about it.

needless to say, the many times in my life when blood donation sign up sheets have been sent around in school and church, i have always passed them on politely to the next person on the row. i've always known deep down inside that i should do it. just do it! you've pushed a nine pound kid out of you for crying out loud! but still, the fear was just too powerful.

until today.

you see, i have this friend anne (with an e) who is really quite persuasive, (even more so than i gave her credit for). she's a nurse and you know how nurses are, they aren't scared of anything. long story short, this girl is dragging me - kicking and screaming (okay that's an exaggeration, but its not far off) to the blood donation center here in des moines. the second we stepped in the main doors i smelled blood. blah!

so i filled out the paper work (with all correct answers - though i was seriously tempted to claim that i had lived in Europe for five years in the eighties) and waited patiently in my private little room until the phlebotomist came in to start the dirty stuff. he pulled out the wicked little finger pricker and the sweat started looming under my t-shirt. i laughed nervously while he attempted to distract me ( don't you hate it when these medical people try asking you where you're from and what you do for a living right when they're about to hurt you? )

i have to admit, the finger pricking wasn't nearly as bad as i had expected it to be. i should have known it was going too well...

so we're done with the weird little room and the guy takes me over to a chair (nowhere near my friend anne - which ticked me off, because anne promised me that we'd be able to lounge about together giving blood and that we'd be able to talk and laugh and it would feel like i was in a day spa.)

he starts feeling around for my veins. he tried on my left arm first, then he moved to my right... never a good sign. he looked about as nervous as i felt as he declared that he was going to try my right arm first. nice.

luckily anne was prepared to document my first blood donation. (i wish i could have gotten this kids autograph)

this is pre-poke (we know this because i'm still smiling), he is just "searching" for the vein in this picture.

so he finally makes a poke - ouch! and then he digs! oooouch!!! and then he digs some more! seriously kid, are you a phlebotomist or a paleontologist? of course, i couldn't really say these things so i just grimaced - really really hard. (is he smiling for the camera?)

well, he couldn't find the vein and neither could anyone else - or they could find it but it was "bouncing" around all over the place, whatever that means. so they pull the needle out say, "okay, you're done."

what? i'm done? i can't give blood? i ask, "no you can't give blood, we can't get your vein." they reply. it was like a slap in the face. you know that feeling where some guy wants to date you and you're really not that into him but then he dumps you and your strangely sad about it? it was like that.

then a miraculous thing happened, it was like an out of body experience. i found myself begging, no- pleading with them to let me stay! "Can't you just try the other arm? i came this far, i really want to give blood!"

i know, i was shocked myself. so they prep the next arm and the phlebotomist kid (bless his heart) is too nervous to go in himself so he calls in for back-up. so this blond girl starts poking and digging and searching and i'm doing my best to calm down (because apparently, according to anne, when you're grimacing and not breathing your veins jump around - i personally blame the flash photography that was going on during the whole fiasco.)

well after about two minutes of digging and a few silent prayers she finally gets my vein. i was waiting for the relief of pain, but instead the pain just got worse. it didn't help that the nice blond haired lady kept looking at my arm and shaking her head saying, "you are going to have a bruise, you are really going to have a bruise."

but i kept breathing slowly and steadily. i was going to persevere. i was going to give a pint of my blood and someday it would save a life. i was so happy! i felt a whole new sense of life flowing through my veins!

here's a shot of my blood being sucked from my veins (anne tried taking it secretly when she thought i wouldn't see, but i saw the flash. i knew i wasn't alone.)

could my feet look any bigger in this picture?

so the blood is pumping for about five minutes and i'm counting the seconds because it seriously hurts. (i will be the first to admit that i'm a total whoos, but seriously, it hurt.) so the blond lady comes to check on me and the next thing i know she's pushing down on my vein like you would push down on a tube of tooth past to get the last bit out of the bottom. as she's doing this she says, "let me know if i hurt you" too late "i'm just trying to get the blood out of you faster, its taking too long."

what the weird? so this seems completely unnatural. this lady is kneading the blood out of my veins because its not flowing fast enough? after another couple minutes of the torture she finally tells me, "yeah, we're not going to be able to get a whole pint out of you."

"can't i just lay here until the whole pint finally comes?" i was in pain, but seriously, i was not going to leave it all to waist!

"no," she says sadly, "if it doesn't come in a certain time frame then we can't use it."

"you can't use it?" i really was about in tears by this point.

"no, sorry."

so that was that. the whole thing was for nothing. whatever blood they pumped from my body was sealed in a bag and tossed in the trash can. so much for me saving a life.

she pulled out the needle. (which hurt more than everything else put together) and bandaged me up. i sat - defeated - in the blood donor chair, feeling like a complete failure.

when it was safe for me to get up they invited me to the snack area for some juice and cookies. i took two cookies because i felt like i deserved it. the nice blond lady brought me a free shirt for being a good sport (anne was so jealous about that) and i just sort of felt like a celebrity. and then anne and i looked at the pictures she had taken of me and we took some more and we laughed a whole bunch and the cookies made me feel better.

and then i realized something. i realized that even though i had failed at donating blood, i really had accomplished something huge. i had overcome one of my biggest fears in life - even when i was given a way out - i persevered. i faced my fears. and even though i came out with some painful bruises...

as soon as i got home to james, i was able to milk him for all he was worth!

moral of this story...

give blood. its totally worth it.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

to scotty on your first birthday

to: our little scotty, snotty, scooter manooter, scott pot, skunker, bubba and tooter

our dear little scotty
today you turned one
the past year flew by
it was quite the dry run.

to think that its been
365 days
since you were in my belly
wiggling in all sorts of ways

we went to the hospital
with hopes you'd come out
when the time finally cameit was love, there's no doubt.

your first weeks of life

were the best of the best
full of kisses

and loves

and much needed rest.

true, there were times
when life wasn't so rosy

you got pretty mad
when you didn't feel cozy

we made lots of mistakes
we seemed like the worst.
but thats what you get
when you are born first

then something strange happened
cuz after a while
you started to grow
you started to smile.
and what did we find?

but this cute little boy
was not only precious
but totally coy!

you became so much more
than our sweet little son you're our buddy
our pal

our bundle of fun

and now twelve months later

life never is boring

you're eating

and teething

and always exploring

you're your daddy's favorite buddy
and your mommy's best friend

we love you even more
than we can comprehend.

happy birthday scott.
love, mom and dad

Sunday, May 24, 2009

okay, so i lied...

i didn't expect this with james going through finals this week but we actually got to get out and do one more blog worthy activity before scott turns one! our friends kelly and andy mueting invited us to go to the iowa cubs baseball game with them on thursday because it only cost $1 to get in!

luckily the hotdogs cost enough to make us feel like we were really having a night out on the town. footlong anyone?

even scott enjoyed hanging out at the baseball game. i think we have a new family tradition.

and of course i have to add a couple of these funny shots of scott. this first one is of the poor tyke running around without any clothes on. he needed to air out because of a terrible diaper rash from his antibiotic (or what my funny friend anne likes to call "fire butt" - and she couldn't be more accurate).

and this makes me laugh every time. scott loves being perched on the little refrigerator step scanning all the food items. what can we say, he loves food just as much as his parents.

here's a video of us all at the baseball game if you're interested.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

our last post of scott as a zero year old

scott is getting to be such a big boy! we can't believe that he will be one year old in less than a week! i've been such a slacker at blogging lately that i am guessing this will be our last post of him before he's officially ONE.

here are some things we've been up to lately now that scott is a mover and a groover...

he and brody are best of friends and love playing at the indoor playground at the mall.
this is a pretty typical scene of brody giggling and gabbing away and scott watching him carefully trying to figure out what he's doing.

and this is when i was trying way too hard to get a good shot of both of them on the pirate ship. this was the best i could do. i realized the other day that the only video i posted of scott walking was a few weeks ago when he took one step and face planted. so even though this video isn't all that exciting, i wanted to show how good he is at getting around. and i just can't get enough of he and brody playing together.

back at home i decided that scott was crawling behind the couches so much that i should remove all hazards and make it his play area. he LOVES it. and so do i...

and this is just kind of a funny story. james made fun of me a while ago because when scott was only six months old i actually set this photo up by sitting scott in the kitchen with pots and pans around him for a gift i was making for my mom. i knew that he would someday get into this position by himself but at the time he couldn't even crawl let alone pull dishes out of a cupboard.
so the other day i walked into the kitchen and saw this and i had to take another picture.
well that's it, thanks for reading and the next time you hear from us scott will be the big 1!!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

funny places i've found scott

i've started a rare picture collection of photographs that i like to call, "funny places i've found scott"
here is a sneak preview:

i found scott this day in the middle of a raging "formula" party that he threw himself. the best part was that i had just given him water from a cup that had spilled all over his shirt so the formula was caked - and i mean CAKED all over him. i tried to get him to look up for the picture but he was much to enamored with his project.this is when i found scott playing in a pile of butter next to the refrigerator. keep in mind i'm never more than a couple feet away but i swear, i turn my back for 30 seconds and this is what i find. again, he just wasn't quite willing to take his attention away from the butter for the picture. my favorite part about this photo is the one sock on, one sock off. its how he spends most of his life.scott loves sneaking back between the couches where he tries to snag the picture book he knows he's not supposed to have. i'm sure he's confused as to why he can't touch the photo book considering the fact that all the pictures are of him! for the longest time i would see scott sitting in front of the open door like this. he was always a bit too nervous to venture ouside without me. (which i loved)but now days i have to watch him much more carefully as he is starting to get a lot braver.and this was my new little surprise today! i had gone into the kitchen for a minute and left scott playing in the front room. when i came back in i could hear is little babbling voice but couldn't see scott anywhere! i finally decided to look on the stairs (though i was SURE he wouldn't be there because he doesn't know how to climb stairs!) sure enough, i found him not one - but 5 steps up!! as soon as the shock and my nervousness wore off, i hurried and got a picture to add to my collection. needless to say, this kid is keeping us on our toes!